Today has been quite the interesting day to say the least. I woke up at about 5:45 this morning to go to a praise and worship service with a couple of my close friends from CRU. We drove on the parkway and climbed up a small hill and waited for the sun to rise. Not only was it beautiful and a great way to see God’s glory and His majestic works, but we sang and we read bible verses and we all just melted in His wonderful presence. I can’t even describe the amazing feeling of just resting in His presence. How great is it that we are given the opportunity in America to worship God and to sing His praises early in the morning watching such a beautiful sunrise? It is amazing! While we were up on the hill, a couple hiked past us and when they were walking back, a man walked by and told us how impressed he was that we were doing that and blessed us and wished us all an amazing day
Not only did we all share in fellowship and singing and just loving God, but we went to breakfast afterward and just had the most amazing time! We were split up into two tables and we are pretty sure that the couple we saw earlier paid for one of our tables. It wasn’t just the gesture but it was the sugar packet with 1 Corinthians 13 written on it left in place of the check. Today has just been chalk full of amazing God moments.
Sitting on that hill and looking over such a beautiful creation, it made consciously handing over my eating disorder and my past, at least today, a little bit easier. If He can create such a beautiful thing as a sunrise while also taking the time and love to individually form all of us with unique features, I think He can handle my ‘baggage’. How dare I stop and think that what I have done or what I have gone through is too big for the creator and Father of the universe. But today, today felt so personal with Him and it felt so amazing to be surrounded by His people, wrapped up in His arms like a blanket. Today I felt so raw and so close with Him. I almost didn’t know how to handle it, but I rested in Him.
I wasn’t feeling very good today and so I’ve been resting in Him. Some days just need to be all about that. Usually I fight myself on this because I don’t find resting very appealing or desirable. I usually guilt myself into doing something by the end of the day. I did begin my day with a small adventure and have spent the rest just allowing myself to know that I am enough because He always loves me. I don’t have to constantly be doing something to earn His love or to be ‘perfect.’ He loves me just the way I am. The scars and the past mistakes that I have are to prepare me for a job in His army that I was designed specifically for. How precious we are to Him. How great is His plan for each and every one of us that we have yet to even be able to comprehend.
I know this is a lot shorter than most of the days that I write are, but I am exhausted. Fighting off an infection before it is call consuming is kind of difficult. Especially if you and your body are stubborn like mine! But today has just been an amazing day! I hope to raise more money soon for Project Heal though! Go donate or have someone else donate and spread the word http://www.youcaring.com/beHISkindofbeautiful I’m just trying to raise money for scholarships for individuals with eating disorders that can’t otherwise pay for treatment. I got a second, third, and fourth chance at life, someone else deserves that chance as well!
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