Day 19: Running in Heels, Raining But Not on My Parade, and Blood Drives

Wow! Today has been quite the day, but I am laying in my bed feeling accomplished as heck! The day started off at a slow then speedy pace. I actually woke up early before my alarm and rolled with it. I got to make coffee and enjoy it while getting my outfit prepared. I got to wear the new sweater I just bought the other day which looks fabulous, by the way. Needless to say, I started off the morning feeling like hot stuff. Honestly, more like comfy ‘hot’ stuff. Let’s just say I was enjoying being cute and covered up nicely!

I walked out of my apartment to see the bus having come early was already done picking people up and I had heels on. Running after the bus in heels? I was confident, but not THAT confident. Although, now that I think about it, it might have been a good butt workout. But that is completely beside the point. I drove my car and parked where I usually do on Tuesdays and Thursdays and walked up hill briskly and up some stairs to get to class. By the time I got there I was overheated but early enough to the class to get settled in before the professor started talking.

Class went well and as soon as I got out, I got multiple compliments on my sweater! Heck yes, I made a good fashion choice! I’m so excited to see that I’m finally making good fashion choices. My mom is finally coming out in me. Also, with so many compliments, I could tell ED to shutup even louder when he tried to make comments about the way my shirt or pants were fitting. No, I haven’t had time or made time to go to the gym. But, I do walk up hill both ways and work way more hours than I should on the weekend apart from taking 19 hours and interning three days a week at an elementary school apart from volunteering on weekends for Camp Spearhead Programs and working with SDAP students whom I love. I would say ED can suck my left toe because I am a rockin’ person or am at least doing my best to make a positive influence on the world. If I died tomorrow, no I would not be my smallest size or in my best shape but I would be happy, on good terms with my family and friends as well as God and I would leave a trail of bright colors and loud sing-songy attempts at imitations. And I am pretty darn proud of all that.

After I came back from class and had toured Watauga Opportunities for one of my other classes, I decided I was going to find my missing packages that my apartment complex has managed to lose. I have three packages that were all apparently delivered that they can’t tell me where they went. I was investigating doing everything from talking to the woman in charge all the way to going down to the post office to try and get some answers. Nothing was found and so apart from getting really frustrated,  I submitted them all as lost and am getting all of them shipped again. If they get lost again, I am making my apartment complex pay for them, it’s as simple as that. Don’t lose my packages and you won’t have to pay for them.

Despite all that frustration, I managed to take a twenty minute nap before getting a phone call that my night class was cancelled. And two more calls after that from amazing classmates making sure I knew that class was cancelled. At first I was really excited, but then I received an email from my professor that he has been very sickly the past week and a half and was pushing himself too hard so he couldn’t recover. Boy did that sound familiar. Shortly after, I received a text that one of my campers has breast cancer. God has truly laid the power of prayer on my heart. I know You can do anything, God, and I ask You to heal them and bring them closer to You.

Maybe it was talking to God, or maybe it was fighting against ED earlier, but something made me want to do something that made a difference today. I remembered we were having our annual blood drive today! I drove on down there and waited two hours but found out my iron was really high and I could give blood! My blood pumped out all in about five minutes or less and I was ready to go! It is so crazy to think that I can make the healthy decision to go and supply my universally donated blood because I am healthy. No matter what ED says, I make a difference and I matter and I am worth the fight as well as the people who get to receive my blood because I am healthy. Who says being malnourished is worth it? I am so glad for days like to day that remind me that my recovery effects more than just my own daily life.

Lord, help me and others who are in recovery to realize it is not just about us. It is not about the food, it is not about the weight, and it is not about the size. It is about taking control over ED and our lives and helping those around us. Lord, lay on our hearts the meaning of who You created us to be and how we can use that to glorify You and Your children. Amen


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